Wood You Help?

OK, I'm going to reach out for a little help here. I am trying to disentangle two sets attributed to 1962, both made of actual wood, if you can believe it: Real Wood Plaks and Valentine Wood Plaks. They are often co-mingled and I believe between the two it's more likely than not there are groupings of distinct plaks, but what came with what is a big puzzle presently. Both sets are attributed to 1962 but I'm not sure that's right.  It could be both were from 1962 but I just don't know.

Most of the plaks between the two sets seem to lean toward insults but a handful are clearly meant to be for Valentine's Day intended's. Look at the extreme bottom right corner of this lot and I think you are seeing a Valentine Wood Plak (possibly two if you look above it):

There may be a correlation between the light and dark wood plaks belonging to a specific set but I can't say I see one presently.  I think it's highly likely some subjects from one set were co-mingled with new subjects from the other but it's not clear which one came first.

Here's what I am trying to do.  I have a list of 75 different plaks and a few have incomplete information that I would love to fill in.  Things may never progress to the point the two sets can be disentangled but I suspect there aren't many more subjects to ID.  There is supposedly at least one plak with a font variation ("Money Can't Buy You Happiness"), I would love to find out there are some others.

Once I can see if any more subjects exist, maybe a stab can be made at the composition of each issue. Incomplete phrases are underlined, so please let me know if you can add or enhance this list.  I probably have a couple of typos sprinkled in as well.

ALWAYS LOVE THY NEIGHBOR, DEFEND HER NEAR AND FAR, IT'S EASY IF YOU LIVE, NEXT TO A MOVIE STAR

AS ELI WHITNEY ONCE SAID - GET YOU COTTON PICKIN' HANDS OFF

BE KIND TO YOUR ELDERS - THEY CAN'T HELP IT IF THEY'RE STUPID

BE TRUSTWORTHY, LOYAL, FRIENDLY, KIND, BRAVE AND CHEERFUL - AND PEOPLE WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU

BOOKS ARE GOOD FRIENDS - LIKE CHECK BOOKS, BANK BOOKS, ETC.

BORED OF EDUCATION - HO HUM

DO NOT DISTURB

DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS - THE TEACHERS HAVE THEIR OWN LUNCH ROOMS

"DON'T CRY OVER SPILT MILK" IS A SAYING I LIKE BEST

DON'T GO AWAY ANGRY - JUST GO AWAY

DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR COUNTRY TO MAKE IT STRONG AND GRAND, GATHER YOUR BELONGINGS, AND MOVE TO ANOTHER LAND

DO UNTO OTHERS AS THEY WOULD DO UNTO YOU - ONLY DO IT FIRST!

DRIVE CAREFULLY CHILDREN AT PLAY

EDUCATION IS WONDERFUL, IT'S JUST SCHOOL THAT'S MISERABLE

FOOD IN THIS SCHOOL IS UNTOUCHED BY HUMAN HANDS - MONKEYS MADE IT

GATHER YOUR BELONGINGS AND MOVE TO ANOTHER LAND - OUTER MONGOLIA

GRADUATE OF ALCATRAZ

I DID WELL ON MY TEST, I WAS THE FIRST TO LEAVE, IT'S EASY WHEN YOU HAVE, THE ANSWERS ON YOUR SLEEVE

I'D LIKE TO TAKE A WALK WITH YOU - WHERE'S YOUR LEASH?

I'D LOVE TO VISIT YOU - WHAT TIME DOES THE ZOO OPEN?

IF TROUBLE COMES ALONG, AND PULSES BEGIN TO QUICKEN, THE SMARTEST THING FOR YOU TO DO, IS IMMEDIATELY TURN CHICKEN

I'LL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER - AFTER YOU LEAVE THAT IS

I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU - UNLESS YOU GET OFF MY FOOT

I'M AVAILABLE - THE LINE FORMS AT THE RIGHT

I'M SEEING

IN GOD WE TRUST

IN OUR CLASSROOM YOU'RE QUITE THE RAGE - YOU'RE THE ONLY GIRL WHO SITS IN A CAGE

IT IS SAID THAT ONE GOOD TURN, ALWAYS DESERVES ANOTHER, AT LUNCH YOU TURNED MY STOMACH, AND DID THE SAME TO MOTHER

IT'S BETTER

IT'S EASY

IT'S FUN TO SEE YOU HAPPY, I'VE TOLD ALL MY CHUMS, IT'S FUN TO SEE YOU SMILE, CAUSE ALL I SEE IS GUMS

I WISH I HAD 10 FRIENDS LIKE YOU - CAUSE I HAVE 20 FRIENDS LIKE YOU

KEEP SMILING AND YOU'LL BE KNOWN AS THE GRINNING IDIOT

KISS ME DARLING

KISS ME, YOU FOOL - ONLY A FOOL WOULD KISS ME

LET'S GO TOGETHER - YOU GO EAST, I'LL GO WEST

LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP, THEN LEAP, THEN LEAP

MARRIAGE IS

MONEY CAN'T BUY YOU HAPPINESS - BUT IT MAKES MISERY MUCH MORE FUN

MOTHER PLEASE - I’D RATHER DO IT MYSELF

MY GROUP HAD 32% FEWER CAVITIES - BUT WE HAD OUR GUMS REMOVED

MY TEACHER BENEATH HER TOUGH EXTERIOR - HAS A WORSE INTERIOR

MY TEACHER LOVES ME, SHE THINKS I'M A DEAR, SHE'S KEPT ME WITH HER, FOR THE FOURTH STRAIGHT YEAR

MY TEACHER TAKES UGLY PILLS

NEVER HIT A MAN WHEN HE'S DOWN - KICK HIM

NEVER PUT OF TILL TOMORROW WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY - PLAY HOOKEY NOW

NO DOGS ALLOWED - SO HOW'D YOU GET IN?

PLEASE SHUT THE DOOR FROM THE OUTSIDE

PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T TAKE BATHS

REMEMBER THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF GENERAL CUSTER - OUCH

SIT ON MY LAP, SHOW ME YOU CARE, I'M SITTING RIGHT NOW, IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR

SUPPORT MENTAL HEALTH OR I'LL KILL YOU

TELL ME

THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD - IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO STICK IT

"THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME", A POET SAID WITH GRACE, I WONDER WHAT HE'D SAY, IF HE LIVED AT MY PLACE

THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE - AND THEY WERE RIGHT

THIS HOUSE CONDEMNED BY THE BOARD OF HEALTH

THIS PASS PLUS THE PRICE OF ADMISSION ALLOWS BEARER TO GO TO THE MOVIES

THREE IS A CROWD - SO YOU TWO GET LOST

TO THE MEMORY OF IRVING GLOTS, PUBLIC SCHOOL 6 - WHO DIED WAITING FOR THE BELL

TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE - I WAS TOLD BY MY DAD BUT IT WON'T HELP ME MUCH BECAUSE BOTH OF YOURS ARE BAD

WE HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO FIGHT - WE'RE TOO BUSY RUNNING

WHEN THINGS LOOK BAD, DON'T HOLLER OR CURSE, THINK OF THE FUTURE. WHEN THINGS WILL GET WORSE

"WHERE THERE'S SMOKE THERE'S FIRE", IS A SAYING QUITE COMPLETE, CAUSE WHEN I'M CAUGHT SMOKING, THERE'S FIRE IN MY SEAT

WITH YOUR LOOKS YOU'LL GO FAR - BUT NOT FAR ENOUGH

YOU ARE REAL SOLID, ALL THE FELLOWS, SAID, I KNOW THE REASON, YOU GOT ROCKS IN YOUR HEAD

YOU GO TO MY HEAD

YOU MAKE ME THINK

YOU MAKE MY HEART

YOU NEVER GET PUNISHED FOR SOMETHING YOU DON'T DO - SO DON'T DO YOUR HOMEWORK

YOU SHOULD GET AHEAD - YOU NEED ONE

YOUR FACE IS YOUR FORTUNE, OF THIS YOU ARE SURE, JUST LOOK IN THE MIRROR, OH BOY ARE YOU POOR

YOUR PRETTY BLONDE BRAIDS, ARE YOUR MOM'S PRIDE AND JOY, BUT PEOPLE HAVE MENTIONED, YOU'RE A STRANGE LOOKING BOY

YOU'RE SO DIFFERENT, SO VERY DIFFERENT

YOU'RE THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE COUNTRY - BUT IN THE CITY, YECCH!

Folding Funny

Continuing on into 1963, Topps revisited their past (shocking I know!) by repurposing the metamorphic "picture tricks" Funny Foldees sets they had issued twice before (in 1949 & 1955) into their Valentines day release for the year, Valentine Foldees.

Most famous for the Babe Ruth card within this 55 card set featured a design motif described as "wheels" and was quite a bit larger than its historic predecessors at 2 1/2" x 4 11/16":

What the heck, lets show some uncut partial sheets from my friend Al's Love Of The Game Auctions.  Note the Babe Ruth's at lower right:

These Wally Wood creations came in a vertically oriented wrapper:

 (From Non--Sports Archive by Adam Tucker and Marc Simon)

Five straight years of no-nonsense Valentines issues through 1963. Then, things get weird.......

None of the major (or minor) hobby guides show an 1964 Valentines issue for Topps.  My money is on Valentine Wood Plaks, which is generally attributed to 1962. My issue with that date is the original issue of Real Wood Plaks came out in 1962, a year which already had Valentine Stickers.  The Wood Plak issues get mixed up rather easily but I believe this is a 1962 Real Wood Plak:

While this is what I believe to be a Valentine Wood Plak:

There are two distinct wrappers:

My current thinking is the Valentine version came out in 1964. Todd Riley's non-sport.com site has 74 different plaks ID'd and based upon that I would be willing to bet between the two sets there are 77 different, likely one set with 33 and the other with 44.

1965 brought a reissue of the 1961 Giant Size Funny Valentines.  The backs were red this time, not orange:

The 1965 wrapper was very, very close to the 1961 version with the boy's hair now blond and not red:

 (From Non--Sports Archive by Adam Tucker and Marc Simon)

1966 would seem to be more settled but I'm not so sure about that.  Conventional Hobby Wisdom has Frankenstein Valentine Stickers coming out in 1966, presumably based upon the Commodity Code on the wrapper.  These were first used in 1966 but after I show the pix, I will expound:

The wrapper is one of the best ever by Topps IMHO:

But the thing is it doesn't say anything about Valentines.  Not 100% unusual for Topps as the box sometimes held the key:

(Courtesy http://www.lostwackys.com)

So here is that Commodity Code:

Clearly 1966 based upon the last digit.  But the problem I am having is the codes generally give the year of concept origination and for a Valentines Day issue to get out the door, it would be an awfully quick turnaround I think.  Topps started using the codes only in this year after moving their plant to Duryea, PA so it's possible the early issues in '66 were not handled the way they would be a few short months later. Still, Frankie could be from 1967.  I am also of the opinion a planned regular issue monster set was tabled and the Valentine connection was hastily added to the box art.

Things get weirder still as we hit "1967".

Topps issued a set called Insult Postcards in (possibly) 1966.  They are exactly what you would think but with one enhancement:

They all have a Valentines theme!  Also of interest, you can see things are getting a little underground-y comixy here as Woody Gelman got the heads up on talent from Robert Crumb before he departed Topps and NYC:

We'll get back to that back in a minute. First, take a gander at the wrapper:

You can just make out that Commodity Code- it ends in 6. They came in this box:

And check out one of the side panels:

An extra word and a couple of floating hearts and voila-a match for the wrapper!  This set was probably conceived as a non-Valentines issue and then converted. I wish I could see the Commodity code but no dice.  There are no distinct Valentine Insult Postcards backs. So did this set come out in 1967?  I have to believe either it or Frankenstein Valentine Stickers did, with the other coming out in the other year. Crazy man!

You would have to think one of the sets with the -6 codes came out in 1966, right?  Or maybe Topps fooled us all and reissued something in cello packs or some other sinister way designed to thwart my research a half century later......

Just you wait...it gets even more confusing in the last years of the Valentines Day cards. See you next time!