Saturday, April 25, 2020

Wood You Help?

OK, I'm going to reach out for a little help here. I am trying to disentangle two sets attributed to 1962, both made of actual wood, if you can believe it: Real Wood Plaks and Valentine Wood Plaks. They are often co-mingled and I believe between the two it's more likely than not there are groupings of distinct plaks, but what came with what is a big puzzle presently. Both sets are attributed to 1962 but I'm not sure that's right.  It could be both were from 1962 but I just don't know.

Most of the plaks between the two sets seem to lean toward insults but a handful are clearly meant to be for Valentine's Day intended's. Look at the extreme bottom right corner of this lot and I think you are seeing a Valentine Wood Plak (possibly two if you look above it):



There may be a correlation between the light and dark wood plaks belonging to a specific set but I can't say I see one presently.  I think it's highly likely some subjects from one set were co-mingled with new subjects from the other but it's not clear which one came first.

Here's what I am trying to do.  I have a list of 75 different plaks and a few have incomplete information that I would love to fill in.  Things may never progress to the point the two sets can be disentangled but I suspect there aren't many more subjects to ID.  There is supposedly at least one plak with a font variation ("Money Can't Buy You Happiness"), I would love to find out there are some others.

Once I can see if any more subjects exist, maybe a stab can be made at the composition of each issue. Incomplete phrases are underlined, so please let me know if you can add or enhance this list.  I probably have a couple of typos sprinkled in as well.

  • ALWAYS LOVE THY NEIGHBOR, DEFEND HER NEAR AND FAR, IT'S EASY IF YOU LIVE, NEXT TO A MOVIE STAR
  • AS ELI WHITNEY ONCE SAID - GET YOU COTTON PICKIN' HANDS OFF
  • BE KIND TO YOUR ELDERS - THEY CAN'T HELP IT IF THEY'RE STUPID
  • BE TRUSTWORTHY, LOYAL, FRIENDLY, KIND, BRAVE AND CHEERFUL - AND PEOPLE WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU
  • BOOKS ARE GOOD FRIENDS - LIKE CHECK BOOKS, BANK BOOKS, ETC.
  • BORED OF EDUCATION - HO HUM
  • DO NOT DISTURB
  • DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS - THE TEACHERS HAVE THEIR OWN LUNCH ROOMS
  • "DON'T CRY OVER SPILT MILK" IS A SAYING I LIKE BEST
  • DON'T GO AWAY ANGRY - JUST GO AWAY
  • DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR COUNTRY TO MAKE IT STRONG AND GRAND, GATHER YOUR BELONGINGS, AND MOVE TO ANOTHER LAND
  • DO UNTO OTHERS AS THEY WOULD DO UNTO YOU - ONLY DO IT FIRST!
  • DRIVE CAREFULLY CHILDREN AT PLAY
  • EDUCATION IS WONDERFUL, IT'S JUST SCHOOL THAT'S MISERABLE
  • FOOD IN THIS SCHOOL IS UNTOUCHED BY HUMAN HANDS - MONKEYS MADE IT
  • BATHER YOUR BELONGINGS AND MOVE TO ANOTHER LAND - OUTER MONGOLIA
  • GRADUATE OF ALCATRAZ
  • I DID WELL ON MY TEST, I WAS THE FIRST TO LEAVE, IT'S EASY WHEN YOU HAVE, THE ANSWERS ON YOUR SLEEVE
  • I'D LIKE TO TAKE A WALK WITH YOU - WHERE'S YOUR LEASH?
  • I'D LOVE TO VISIT YOU - WHAT TIME DOES THE ZOO OPEN?
  • IF TROUBLE COMES ALONG, AND PULSES BEGIN TO QUICKEN, THE SMARTEST THING FOR YOU TO DO, IS IMMEDIATELY TURN CHICKEN
  • I'LL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER - AFTER YOU LEAVE THAT IS
  • I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU - UNLESS YOU GET OFF MY FOOT
  • I'M AVAILABLE - THE LINE FORMS AT THE RIGHT
  • I'M SEEING
  • IN GOD WE TRUST
  • IN OUR CLASSROOM YOU'RE QUITE THE RAGE - YOU'RE THE ONLY GIRL WHO SITS IN A CAGE
  • IT IS SAID THAT ONE GOOD TURN, ALWAYS DESERVES ANOTHER, AT LUNCH YOU TURNED MY STOMACH, AND DID THE SAME TO MOTHER
  • IT'S BETTER
  • IT'S EASY
  • IT'S FUN TO SEE YOU HAPPY, I'VE TOLD ALL MY CHUMS, IT'S FUN TO SEE YOU SMILE, CASUE ALL I SEE IS GUMS
  • I WISH I HAD 10 FRIENDS LIKE YOU - CAUSE I HAVE 20 FRIENDS LIKE YOU
  • KEEP SMILING AND YOU'LL BE KNOWN AS THE GRINNING IDIOT
  • KISS ME DARLING
  • KISS ME, YOU FOOL - ONLY A FOOL WOULD KISS ME
  • LET'S GO TOGETHER - YOU GO EAST, I'LL GO WEST
  • LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP, THEN LEAP, THEN LEAP
  • MARRIAGE IS
  • MONEY CAN'T BUY YOU HAPPINESS - BUT IT MAKES MISERY MUCH MORE FUN
  • MOTHER PLEASE - I’D RATHER DO IT MYSELF
  • MY GROUP HAD 32% FEWER CAVITIES - BUT WE HAD OUR GUMS REMOVED
  • MY TEACHER BENEATH HER TOUGH EXTERIOR - HAS A WORSE INTERIOR
  • MY TEACHER LOVES ME, SHE THINKS I'M A DEAR, SHE'S KEPT ME WITH HER, FOR THE FOURTH STRAIGHT YEAR
  • MY TEACHER TAKES UGLY PILLS
  • NEVER HIT A MAN WHEN HE'S DOWN - KICK HIM
  • NEVER PUT OF TILL TOMORROW WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY - PLAY HOOKEY NOW
  • NO DOGS ALLOWED - SO HOW'D YOU GET IN?
  • PLEASE SHUT THE DOOR FROM THE OUTSIDE
  • PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T TAKE BATHS
  • REMEMBER THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF GENERAL CUSTER - OUCH
  • SIT ON MY LAP, SHOW ME YOU CARE, I'M SITTING RIGHT NOW, IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR
  • SUPPORT MENTAL HEALTH OR I'LL KILL YOU
  • TELL ME
  • THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD - IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO STICK IT
  • "THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME", A POET SAID WITH GRACE, I WONDER WHAT HE'D SAY, IF HE LIVED AT MY PLACE
  • THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE - AND THEY WERE RIGHT
  • THIS HOUSE CONDEMNED BY THE BOARD OF HEALTH
  • THIS PASS PLUS THE PRICE OF ADMISSION ALLOWS BEARER TO GO TO THE MOVIES
  • THREE IS A CROWD - SO YOU TWO GET LOST
  • TO THE MEMORY OF IRVING GLOTS, PUBLIC SCHOOL 6 - WHO DIED WAITING FOR THE BELL
  • TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE - I WAS TOLD BY MY DAD BUT IT WON'T HELP ME MUCH BECAUSE BOTH OF YOURS ARE BAD
  • WE HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO FIGHT - WE'RE TOO BUSY RUNNING
  • WHEN THINGS LOOK BAD, DON'T HOLLER OR CURSE, THINK OF THE FUTURE. WHEN THINGS WILL GET WORSE
  • "WHERE THERE'S SMOKE THERE'S FIRE", IS A SAYING QUITE COMPLETE, CAUSE WHEN I'M CAUGHT SMOKING, THERE'S FIRE IN MY SEAT
  • WITH YOUR LOOKS YOU'LL GO FAR - BUT NOT FAR ENOUGH
  • YOU ARE REAL SOLID, ALL THE FELLOWS, SAID, I KNOW THE REASON, YOU GOT ROCKS IN YOUR HEAD
  • YOU GO TO MY HEAD
  • YOU MAKE ME THINK
  • YOU MAKE MY HEART
  • YOU NEVER GET PUNISHED FOR SOMETHING YOU DON'T DO - SO DON'T DO YOUR HOMEWORK
  • YOU SHOULD GET AHEAD - YOU NEED ONE
  • YOUR FACE IS YOUR FORTUNE, OF THIS YOU ARE SURE, JUST LOOK IN THE MIRROR, OH BOY ARE YOU POOR
  • YOUR PRETTY BLONDE BRAIDS, ARE YOUR MOM'S PRIDE AND JOY, BUT PEOPLE HAVE MENTIONED, YOU'RE A STRANGE LOOKING BOY
  • YOU'RE SO DIFFERENT, SO VERY DIFFERENT
  • YOU'RE THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE COUNTRY - BUT IN THE CITY, YECCH!

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