Saturday, January 20, 2018

Funny Flash Fraction

It's been a little while since I posted about an obscure, never-issued set that has been dubbed Funny Flash Cards (an unofficial title but so-named for very obvious reasons).  Attribution to 1968 as the year based upon an old auction description, the artwork, mainly by Wally Wood from what I can see, generally supports that year as well.

I pulled the trigger on one of these last year  and they measure 4 11/16" x 2 1/2", which is the same as many other similar "large" Topps cards of the day.  As we have previously seen, the front looks innocent enough:

While the back has the gag and related illustration:

The card looks finished in every way and in addition to the 33 card finished proof sheet I featured previously, one showing markups has now appeared:

It features the same 33 cards as the finished proof sheet so either the other 22 cards were not proofed (unlikely but if this was a test it's possible they were waiting to see results) or they are presently MIA. As has been seen countless times with obscure Topps sets, the remaining subjects could easily pop up someday. In fact, if they were testing the product, it would not be out of character for the other 22 to have been to test subjects.  Topps often reduced the number of cards when testing from what would appear if the set made it to retail.

I've managed to put together a checklist of the 33 known subjects. A few numbers are missing as they are too fuzzy to read on either sheet, but it has all the questions and gags in case you were thinking of giving someone an IQ test.

The checklist follows the sheet positions for the Answers on the Reverse as that's where the cards are numbered.  Rows are tagged A thru I and Columns from 1-3:

No. Category Front (Question) Reverse (Answer) Position (Reverse)
Nature Studies What Animal Is Hairy & Can't See? A Baboon With His Eyes Closed! A1 (33)
38 History What Was Sewards' Folly? Mrs. Seward! A2 (33)
15 Mathematics If John And Sam Share 6 Apples, And Sam Gets 2, What Does John Get? A Punch In The Eye From Sam! A3 (33)
Grammar What's Wrong With This Sentence: "On My Vacation In Philadelphia I Had An Exciting Time." Nobody In Philadelphia Has An Exciting Time! B1 (33)
17 Science If Your Friend Had 14 Marbles And You Took Half, What Would You Have? A Black Eye! B2 (33)
26 Mathematics What Never Strikes Twice In The Same Place? A Mets Baseball Pitcher! B3 (33)
9 Mathematics Can You Draw A Straight Line From New York To Chicago? Yes, If You Have A Very Long Pencil! C1 (33)
18 Science What Is Whale Oil Used For? For Oiling Whales! C2 (33)
52 History When Did The Civil War Come To An End? When The Last Shot Was Fired! C3 (33)
21 History Why Did George Washington Cross The Delaware? It Was Too Cold Standing In The Middle! D1 (33)
44 History Why Were They Called "Rough Riders?" No Talcum Powder! D2 (33)
54 History Why Did People Before Columbus Think The World Was Flat? In Those Days It Was Flat! D3 (33)
History Who Was The 10th President Of The United States? Who Cares! E1 (33)
30 Nature Studies What Is A Hippo? A Fat Hippie! E2 (33)
16 Mathematics How Much Dirt Is In A Hole  3 Ft. x 3 Ft. x 5 Ft. Deep! None, You Idiot! It's a Hole! E3 (33)
History Between Whom Was The Battle Of Bunker Hill Fought? Between A Fellow And A Girl In A Parked Car! F1 (33)
Grammar Form A Sentence With The Word Paradox. On Our Farm We Have Four Chickens, Six Geese and a Paradox! F2 (33)
8 Literature Out Of The Mouths Of Babes, Oftimes Comes What? Drool! F3 (33)
5 Science What Shouldn't People In Glass Houses Throw? Wild Parties! G1 (33)
40 History During The Boston Tea Party, What Did The Colonists heave Overboard? Their Dinners! G2 (33)
12 Nature Studies How Can A Charging Rhino Be Stopped? Take Away His Credit Card! G3 (33)
Social Studies What Do You Call A Man Who Takes Apart Live Bombs For A Living? An Idiot! H1 (33)
History Why Was General Lee Buried At Arlington National Cemetery? Because He Was Dead! H2 (33)
Mathematics If Mrs. Smith Makes 10 Spinach Cookies, And Gives One To Each Of Her 6 Children, How Many Will Be Left? Ten!  Who Would Eat A Spinach Cookie! H3 (33)
History In The War Of 1812, Who Said "Don't Give Up The Ship?" Someone Who Wasn't On It! I1 (33)
Science Scientists Get Oil By Drilling Oil Wells, How Do They Get Gas? By Drinking Beer! I2 (33)
Mathematics If Two's Company And Three's A Crowd, What Are Four And Five? Nine! I3 (33)
History When Did Nathan Hale Say "I Regret That I Have But One Life To Give For My Country?" When It Was Too Late! J1 (33)
Mathematics If You Had 18 Apples And You Ate 12, What Would You Have? One Heckuva Stomach Ache! J2 (33)
36 Mathematics 2 Pints Make A Quart; 4 Quarts Make A Gallon. What Does A Gallon Make? A Drunken Brawl! J3 (33)
Mathematics If You Had 6 Packs Of Cigarettes With 20 Cigarettes In A Pack And You Smoked 2 1/2 Packs In One Day, What Would You Have The Next Day? Such A Cough! K1 (33)
Science What Did Isaac Newton Learn When The Apple Fell on His Head? He Should Change His Seat K2 (33)
4 History Why Did Our Forefathers Leave England? To Get Away From Our Foremothers! K3 (33)

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